With the recent launch of my new guide for breastfeeding mums on ‘how to start enjoying their sex lives again,’ I found myself thinking about a viral true story from April 2022 about a particular breastfeeding mum named Macy.
Ok, so the story goes like this. Macy, creator and admin of a Facebook 'April Due Date Group', responded to a question from a new mum who was wondering
“Is it okay to have sex while her baby was sleeping in the room?”
Personally, I don't find it unusual to have sex with a sleeping newborn nearby, as we're a family who co-sleeps.
But Macy took it a step further, admitting, “We often have sex next to our baby - even while I’m breastfeeding."
She explained, “He's a baby and doesn’t understand what’s going on. We usually do it from behind, with the baby in front of me.”
Let me tell you, this admission did not go down well with other members of her group.
Look I get it, there are times this has happened to me. Hubby and I are in bed, getting frisky, and then the baby wakes up. My newborns only fall back asleep with the boob, which is non-negotiable, like it’s the only way they will go back to sleep.
So, while I understand why Macy had to feed her baby immediately, I would have just stopped having sex, and fed my baby.
Macy actually faced a lot of backlash for her admission and was genuinely hurt. Other mums questioned, "Why not wait until you’ve finished feeding your baby?" and "Having sex while your child is feeding is weird."
Macy felt she hadn’t involved her child in the act and stated several times she had done nothing wrong.
Members of the group posted the story in numerous breastfeeding Facebook groups, and it quickly spread.
Look personally, I don't think Macy was doing anything horribly wrong.
She seemed to have separated her sexual feelings. However, I do question how fulfilling this was for her - it seemed like multitasking, and I doubt she was particularly enjoying it. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it; I would just be thinking about my baby.
Sadly, Macy felt judged, even bullied. This story really highlights the troubles breastfeeding mums face in navigating our sex life, especially as our little boob barnacles are basically attached 24/7. It can be a serious struggle, and can totally affect our relationships.
You can visit my instagram page if you want to share your thoughts on the story or leave a comment here on The Breastfeeders Club Blog.
So, I have to remind you that if you're a breastfeeding mum struggling with your sex life, have lost your libido, or are feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being touched, I encourage you to grab a copy of my new ebook.
There is nothing quite like it and it's perfect for sharing or reading as a couple.
You have absolutely nothing to lose, and so much to gain. This is everything you did not know you needed.
The total cost is just 11 USD, but if you apply breastfeeding mum math, it's basically free 😌
Love this for you!
1 comment
Having sex whilst your baby is asleep in the same room is one thing – I feel like we’ve all been there, done that, I don’t physically know anyone that hasn’t. But having sex and feeding your baby? Very odd and surpasses a normal sort of boundary. Being that physically turned on when feeding your baby, even without the emotional connection present with your child right then, is just to me a big no imo